Pokemon Manzai
by dittox216
Summary: A bunch of oneshots about Pokemon, mainly Diamond and Pearl. Pokemon Manga, not games. On hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So, I created this when I was stuck on my other fics. I got this idea while reading Pokemon Adventures, and decided to do some of Diamond's and Pearl's Manzais'. This is mainly comedy, so I probably need help. There are probably a lot of plot inconsistensies, since I haven't finished the DP P chapters.**

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_**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon.**_

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"Speaking of Pokemon!" Diamond yelled out.

"When I think about Pokemon, I think about Pokemon moves." Pearl replied.

"Like what?" Dia asked.

"Well, there are sound moves, like roar and hyper voice. There are sort've indirect moves, like flamethrower and ice beam. And there are punch moves like fire punch and ice punch, to name a few." Pearl answered.

"Dizzy punch and shadow punch?" Dia said.

"Yeah! And focus punch and mach punch..." Pearl continued.

"And fruit punch and bullet punch." Dia finished.

"Idiot!" Pearl yelled.

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**AN: There's Ch 1. Please RnR. And thank you.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I'm still stuck on my other stories, so here's ch 2.**

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_**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon.**_

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"Speaking of Pokemon..." Diamond yelled.

"When I think about Pokemon, I think about friendship." Pearl replied.

"Yeah. Being friends with your pokemon is great." Diamond agreed.

"It can be very powerful though." Pearl said. "Like some Pokemon even evolve through friendship."

"Cool! I wonder what I'd evolve into?..." Dia stated.

"Huh?" Pearl asked, confused.

"Because if you stopped slapping me, we could be better friends and I could evolve." Dia answered.

Pearl slapped himself in the face.

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**AN: You know, that last sentence wasn't very effective. That being said, I'm really interested in this. Pokemon Adventures is awesome. I'm on the eighth chapter. Platina sure likes to gamble...**

**Anyways, see you! RnR!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: As it turns out, I'm still stuck. Yay. Here's ch 3.**

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_**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon.**_

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Diamond and Pearl were traveling back home.

"While we're walking, want to practice our manzai?" Pearl asked Dia.

"Speaking of Pokemon..." Dia answered.

"When I think about Pokemon, I think about Pokemon." Pearl said.

"Huh?" Dia asked.

"Like how you encounter them." Pearl said. "The other day I was walking through the grass and I saw a Snorlax hiding in the grass."

"Must've been a small Snorlax." Dia said.

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**AN: Whew. This is actually really easy, making stupid jokes. Anyways, RnR.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Guess what. I'm still stuck. Writer's block is a pain. But this is going strong, so here's ch 4.**

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_**I dont own PKMN.**_

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Dia and Pearl had reached Twinleaf Town, and were at Dia's house.

"Yeah, we're here!" Pearl yelled.

"Hello." Dia's mom greeted them. "How are the two best comedians?"

"We're doing great Mom." Dia answered.

"Would you mind doing your manzai for me?" Dia's mom asked.

"Sure." Pearl said.

"Speaking of Pokemon!" Dia said.

"When I think about Pokemon, I think about Pokemon types." Pearl said.

"Like Normal, Ghost, Fire, and Ice" Dia asked.

"Yep." Pearl said. "They affect the Pokemon in different ways. Like a Normal move on a Ghost Pokemon would have no affect, and vice versa. Meanwhile, some have advantages over the others, like Fire beating Ice-"

"Yeah!" Dia interrupted. "And Ice beats Lightning and Lightning beats Fire."

Everyone fell silent.

"You've been playing your Wii too much." Pearl reprimanded Dia.

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**AN: There. I'm not sure how many people will get this joke, so review if you do. Even if you don't, review. Thanks!**


	5. Double Feature 1

**AN: Hey. I have (hopefully) gotten over writer's block, so there may not be another update for a while. Meanwhile, since this is the fifth chapter, I have something special. Here's a double feature.**

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_**I don't own Pokemon.**_

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Dia and Pearl were playing on the Wii.

"Speaking of Pokemon." Dia said silently.

"When I think about Pokemon, I think about Pokemon moves." Pearl said.

"Didn't we already do this?" Dia asked.

"Pokemon can have 4 different moves in a moveset." Pearl continued, ignoring Dia. "Like a Rattata may only have growl."

"Meanwhile a Pikachu may have a moveset of thunder," Dia began.

"Quick Attack," Pearl continued.

"Skull Bash," Dia said.

"Thunder Jolt!" Pearl yelled out loud.

They both fell silent.

The TV kept going, "Pika-chu!"

"We really need to turn that off." Pearl said.

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"Alright, let's try that again." Pearl said.

"Speaking of Pokemon!" Dia said.

"When I think about Pokemon, I think about Legendaries." Pearl said.

"Legendaries?" Dia asked.

"Those are Pokemon of exceptional power." Pearl said.

"I'd like to see one." Dia said, staring into the sky.

"You already have." Pearl said. "Dialga, the Time Pokemon, and Palkia, the Space Pokemon. Meanwhile, there are the 3 Lake Guardians, Azself, Mespirit, and Uxie. Willpower, Emotion, and Knowledge."

"Is that all?" Dia asked, amazed.

"Nope. There are ones from other regions too. Like Mew, the so-called ancestor of all Pokemon." Pearl stated. "And Mewtwo, the most powerful Pokemon ever."

"I dunno..." Dia began. "I tried him, he sucked. Pikachu could beat him any day."

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**AN: Just like last time, these jokes are a little more vague. If you get them, review. If not, still review.**

**By the way, a hint is on my profile. Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hi, again. I'm very close to updating my other stories, but I decided to upload this anyways. Enjoy!**

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_**I don't own Pokemon.**_

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"Speaking of Pokemon!" Dia began.

"When I think about Pokemon, I think about items." Pearl said.

"What kind?" Dia asked.

"Just items in general." Pearl said. "There are items you can use, like potions and berries. There are items that help you travel, like bikes or a key card. Then there are held items, which can go into multiple categories."

"Like what?" Dia asked.

"Well," Pearl said, There are ones that boost certain types, like charcoal increases fire. There are items that just have an effect, like a FocusSash or a LifeOrb. And there are items that can only be used by certain Pokemon, like the Protector and the LightBall."

"Hmm... like the AdamantOrb?" Dia asked.

"Yep. There's the LusciousOrb, the GriseousOrb," Pearl continued.

"And the VoltOrb and a RedOrb," Dia continued.

"*sigh*" Pearl said.

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**AN: So there's ch 6. That was so simple compared to the last ones. Anyways, RnR!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: So, how many of you were expecting an update yesterday? Well, here's ch 7. Enjoy this chapter.**

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_**I don't own Pokemon.**_

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_I dedicate this comic to my friend M._

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"Speaking of Pokemon!" Dia said.

"When I think about Pokemon, I think about Pokemon moves."

"Like what?" Dia said, leaving the fact they had done it twice before.

"There are offensive moves." Pearl said, "Like Ice Beam and Flamethrower."

"There are defensive moves, like Protect and Reflect."

"And there are supportive moves." Pearl finished.

"Like what?" Dia asked.

"Minimize, Harden, Swords Dance..."

"Dragon Dance," Dia continued.

"Quiver Dance, Petal Dance," Pearl continued hesitantly.

"Blossom Dance," Dia said.

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**AN: So there's another vague video game reference. The dedication goes to M.B., a friend of mine. Thank you for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Hey. I've been caught up between school, video games and anime, so I haven't been on FF lately. Here's ch 8, but writer's block is getting to me.**

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_**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon.**_

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"Speaking of Pokemon!" Dia said.

"When I think about Pokemon, I think about places." Pearl said.

"Which ones?" Dia asked.

"Cities, Islands, Regions," Pearl stated.

"You may think traveling that traveling with Platina showed us a lot Dia," Pearl started, "but there are places, bigger and grander than ours out there."

"Hmmm... like that place Gold showed us? Johto?" Dia asked.

"Yep. Thought you forgot." Pearl answered.

"They had good food there." Dia said.

"All you ever think about is food!" Pearl yelled. "Also, you were eating Berries and Apricorns straight off the trees!"

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**AN: Whew. Another simple ga****g. I originally had it in Unova, with CastelliaCones, but HGSS made more sense. Plus this joke's not as dark as that...**


	9. Lame Jokes

**AN: Hi. Here's a new chapter. Next is the tenth chapter of Pokemon Manzai! So excited. That being said, you may not get it for a while, because I'm busy. But here's Ch 9. Enjoy!**

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_**Disclaimer: You know... PKMN is Nintendos**_

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"Speaking of Pokemon!" Dia said.

"When I think about Pokemon," Pearl said, "I think about Pokemon trainers**."**

"?"

"Like Trainer Classes." Pearl explained. "Like Ace Trainer, Gym Leader, Swimmer, Rival,"

"Comedian?" Dia asked.

"Well, actually-" Pearl began.

"That'd be awesome!" Dia said. "We are comedians and ask jokes every time we battle."

"Like-" Pearl began, again.

"Like 'Why can't Turtwig ride a swing?'" Dia asked.

"I don't-" Pearl said.

"Because he doesn't have any arms!" Dia answered. "What's red and hard on your teeth?"

"A-"

"A Shuckle!" Dia said. "What's worse than finding 1 Wurmple in your apple?"

Pearl stayed silent.

"A Beedrill in your apple." Dia answered. "What's worse than a beedrill in your apple?"

Dia answered immediately. "A Dragonite in your apple! What's worse than a Dragonite in your apple?"

"Dr. Footstep! What's worse than him?"

"Uh-" Pearl began.

"Team Galactic!" Dia announced.

"What's worse than Team Galactic?" Dia asked?

"Nothing?" Pearl thought.

"2 Wurmples in your apple!"

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**AN: Heh... Here's to Dia and his jokes. Or, more accurately, dittox216's lame, ripped-straight-off-the-internet, Pokemon styled jokes. Hope you enjoyed! RnR, and watch for chapter 10.**


	10. The 7 Wonders, and An exploding Psyduck

**AN: HI! Here it is, a day early, and less than 5 minutes after I finished ch 9! Anyways, here's a double feature 2.**

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_**Disclaimer: PKMN-Nintendo And the 2 jokes came from somewhere...**_

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"Speaking of Pokemon!" Dia announced.

"When I think about Pokemon, I think about places." Pearl said.

"Hmm..." Dia muttered.

"Exactly! Some of the most awesome places in Sinnoh that we explored." Pearl said.

"Should we call it... the 7 wonders of Sinnoh?" Dia asked.

Pearl shrugged.

"I know!" Dia said. "First off, Spear Pillar! Then, Turnback Cave! Next Amity Square-"

"What?" Pearl asked. "Why's that there?"

"You could walk, and walk, and walk into the sand castles for days, and never get out!" Dia said.

"..."

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"Speaking of Pokemon!" Dia said.

"When I think about Pokemon, I think about status conditions." Pearl said.

"Which kind?" Dia asked.

"Both." Pearl answered. "Things like poison, burns, confusion,"

"Remind me how they work." Dia requested.

"Okay." Pearl said. "Poison slowly hurts the Pokemon, Burn does the same thing, Confusion might cause the Pokemon to hurt itself-"

"Wait." Dia asked.

"Ok." Pearl said.

"What if the Pokemon might already hurt itself?" Dia asked. "Like if Psyduck confused Electrode, and Electrode used Self Destruct?"

"Come again?" Pearl asked.

"I know!" Dia announced. "Psyduck would blow up !"

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**AN: :). So there's ch 10. Now to explain the jokes...**

**The first "Manzai" was based off my sisters comment about Amity Square. And my annoyance of trying to get through it. In case you were wondering, I have Pkmn Platnim. As for the 7 wonders of Sinnoh... I made that up. Of course, here's my personal list.**

**1\. Spear Pillar**

**2\. Turnback Cave**

****3\. Stark Mountain****

**4\. Celestial Town (The Mural)**

**5\. Veilstone City (The Meteorites)**

**6\. Flormora Town (How it was created)**

**7\. Old Cheateu**

**Yep... still under work.**

**As for the other joke... that one was based off BitF. I was a huge reader, and that was actually the inspiration for this story. I wanted to do something like M.T. did, but since I can't draw and it would be like complete copying him, I did this instead. So that joke (exploding Psyduck) is Brawl in the Family's.**

**Anyways, glad you read! Thank you, and review!**


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